In the beginning, God made woman for man and brought them together as one (Gen. 2:18-24). However, as with all things, man has found a way to take what God has made for his good and use it for his harm. This is realized when man makes an idol out of the opposite sex. Generically speaking, an idol can be anything that displaces our affections away from God, thus becoming a sort of deity to us, obtaining the larger portion of our admiration, adoration or devotion. Has the opposite sex ever filled this role in your life?

It is not uncommon for a woman to become the center of a man’s universe. As a boy comes of age, he will transition from avoiding and harassing girls to vying for their attention and affection. If left unchecked, he will become quite obsessed with this profession for the next 10-15 years of his life, if not the remainder of his life.

The same holds true for girls. Instead of being content with ribbons and curls, they will begin to wear makeup and perfume. Just as a young man will do things to impress a young lady (often very foolish things), a young lady will find it very satisfying to turn the head of a young man, particularly one she finds “cute” or “good looking.” This will become her adrenaline rush for many years to come. As a matter of fact, young girls can become just as obsessed and infatuated with young men as young men can with young ladies.

Though potentially harmless and seemingly natural, in excess these are some of the very earliest signs of this pervasive idolatry. Without instruction and guidance, these infatuations will become the primary identity and pressing mandate for young men and young women throughout their lives. Their entire self-worth and esteem will be based on what the opposite sex thinks of them, rather than what God thinks of them. This is seen in dating, courtship and marriage. Though this is clearly the status quo of the world, is this God’s plan for Christians? Is this not the basis of all idolatry?

As early as the Ten Commandments, God said “You shall have no other gods before me” (Ex. 20:3). In a sense, God is telling His people that whatever we put before Him has become a god to us. Though Christians are bound by the New Covenant, does not the principle hold true when we value the esteem and favor of the opposite sex before the esteem and favor of God? Are we not guilty of putting the other sex—our god—before Jehovah?

In the New Testament, some of Jesus’ early warnings about discipleship involved prioritizing our relationships. He says, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brother and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26). The idea of “hate” here implies to love less than. Essentially, Jesus is teaching us that even the most intimate of relationships in this world—a spouse or a child—must be subordinate to our relationship to Him.

In a healthy relationship with the opposite sex, the primary concern will be with what God thinks. Naturally, this will trickle down into every other aspect of our lives. A husband’s relationship with his wife and a wife’s relationship with her husband will be positively enhanced because both are concerned with what God thinks of them. They will realize that God wants them to love, honor and submit to one another as they submit to Him (Eph. 5:22-32). This should apply to every aspect of their relationship with one another, from intimacy (cf. 1 Cor. 7:1-5) to communication (cf. 1 Pet. 3:7), headship (cf. 1 Cor. 11:3) to responsibility (cf. Eph. 6:1-4). For example, a husband will not lie to protect his wife or his relationship with his wife, because then he would be lying to God (cf. Col. 3:9). One who would lie to his spouse for such a reason would make an idol of her, putting her before God. The same holds true for every single element of that relationship. In a healthy relationship with our spouse, nothing will come before God.

The same holds true for those who are not yet married. If God is at the center of their lives, they will put God first in every relationship (Matt. 6:33). For example, young men will learn what it means to treat a young lady first and foremost as a sister in the faith, with all purity (cf. 1 Tim. 5:12). Have you ever wondered why the Holy Spirit included that phrase “with all purity” if it was not important? Young ladies will value young men who are putting God first in their lives (cf. 1 Tim. 4:12-16). They will want a man who can lead them spiritually (cf. 1 Cor. 14:34-35). To achieve these measures, a young man will spend His youth preparing to be the kind of man God would have him to be as a husband and father. A young lady will spend her energy preparing to be the kind of woman God would have her to be as a wife and mother. Instead of being governed by an obsessive drive to please the opposite sex, they  will be driven by a desire to please God, which will in turn lead to healthy relationships with one another. This will cultivate stronger marriages and, even more importantly, stronger relationships with God later in life.

Early instruction in teaching our children to love God more than anything is paramount (cf. Eph. 6:4; Prov. 22:6). When we fail to instruct our young people to put God first in their lives, we are instructing them in idolatry. We are complicit in helping Satan to seduce them into putting others before God.

Major paradigm shifts must take place when one comes out of the world and into Christ later in life. We must learn that our relationship with God comes before any other relationship we have, period. A couple who loves God more than they love each other will have no issues with jealousy or expectations. They will have it no other way because God reigns as King in their lives. They have no other god before God.

Let us not make idols out of the opposite sex. Let us resist Satan, who would subtly ensnare us in idolatry. Let us fight the good fight among our youth and teach them to put God, and God alone, first in their lives. Let us fight idolatry in every form!